


Can I Stay?

by 80sGayTrashGoblin



Series: Human OWCA AU [3]
Category: Phineas and Ferb
Genre: Aftermath of Violence, Alternate Universe - Human, Ambiguous Relationships, American Sign Language, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Graphic Description, Human Perry the Platypus (Phineas and Ferb), Post-Movie: Across the 2nd Dimension (Phineas and Ferb), Pre-Slash, Serious Injuries
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-26
Updated: 2021-02-26
Packaged: 2021-03-16 20:01:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,241
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29705826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/80sGayTrashGoblin/pseuds/80sGayTrashGoblin
Summary: Perry really, really, really hated international missions. After a particularly bad one (that's a lie, it was how an international mission usually ends up going) he decides to go to Doofenshmirtz's Not-Evil Inc.
Relationships: Heinz Doofenshmirtz & Perry the Platypus, Heinz Doofenshmirtz/Perry the Platypus
Series: Human OWCA AU [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2166198
Comments: 2
Kudos: 69





	Can I Stay?

Perry shuddered, leaning against the dirty brick wall as one hand covered the blood stain slowly spreading on his vest. Damn international missions: unlike Heinz, gangs and drug cartels carried guns. He’d completed his mission of course (without firing a single bullet, because that would be deducted from his paycheck) but not without getting into a few scrapes. Thankfully he’d crossed the Tri-State Area border a while ago, so he’s near Danville now. 

As he bled out in an alleyway, he weighed his options. Hospital was out: he had no insurance and couldn’t afford to pay for something he could treat himself (Field Medicine was a required course in Australia's HSWCA). The lair was running low on medical supplies, and he couldn’t go back home and scar his family. OWCA Medical was abysmal and would be deducted from his paycheck, the worst of both worlds. Besides, poor Carl had enough on his plate. 

Then, something clicked. Recently, Heinz had renounced villainy. And it’s a weeknight, so Vanessa’s at her mom’s. The frequent explosions at Doof Inc means he has a lot of medical supplies, and even some medical knowledge. It’s his best shot. 

Mind made up, Perry shouldered his jetpack and set his course for Doofenshmirtz’s Not-Evil Inc. 

* * *

Heinz was currently up in his lab, working on upgrades for his arms. He hadn’t registered that it was two in the morning, only that it was dark and these upgrades needed to be done. Now that he was good, he had more free time than he knew what to do with. His ex-wife suggested patenting his arms and specializing in prosthetics, Vanessa suggested joining the R&D department of OWCA. Ever indecisive, he worked on his arms. 

Explosions making his hearing go down the drain and the inventing flow he’s in (and he’d never admit it, but he was humming “You Snuck Your Way Right Into My Heart”) was probably why he jumped a few feet into the air when he heard a tired churr behind him. 

Turning around, he saw the silhouette of his nemesis in the darkness, his hat ajar and one arm wrapped around his side. _‘Can I stay here?’_ he asked, the message a bit muddled since he was only using one hand. 

“Of course, Perry the Platypus, you know you’re always welcome here.” Heinz smiled wide as he started putting things away. “I’ll get a pot going of that tea you like, Oolong right? You just get settled on the couch.” 

Perry hesitated in the stairway, ungluing his hand from his side for a moment to sign _‘medicine?’_

“Painkillers and such are in the bathroom, first door on the right. Ask Norm if you need something more serious.” 

Heinz turned around and headed downstairs, and heard Perry follow him after a few moments. He didn’t know why the secret agent didn’t want to be seen right now, but he respected it. He hobbled into the kitchen, getting a kettle of water on the stove. 

“Hi Dad!” Hi Perry the Platypus!” Norm rolled into the living room, and he could hear Perry flop on the couch. There was a tired churr behind him, a few moments of silence as Perry signed, and a “Right away sir!” as Norm sped off again. 

There was an apologetic churr behind him as Heinz poured them both mugs. “Don’t apologize to me, Perry the Platypus,” he said as he rifled through cabinets. “I said you’re welcome here whenever you like and I mean it.” 

Before Heinz could continue along that train of thought, Norm returned, dumping a bunch of stuff on the coffee table. Heinz turned around to scold him, but the words died in his throat. 

Perry was sitting up on the couch, having shed his waistcoat and shirt, a different pair of gloves on as he pulled things out of his hat. The most glaring thing though was the hole in his side, which was covered in blood. 

“Perry the Platypus!” Heinz set down both mugs of tea, rushing over to the agent’s side. “Is that- were you shot?!” 

Perry just shrugged, pulling out a pair of tweezers from his hat. After grabbing a wipe and cleaning it, he leaned back on the couch and stuck the tweezers into the wound. He grit his teeth but his hands were steady. Heinz, trying to be helpful, grabbed the gauze and waited. 

After a few minutes, Perry pulled out a few shards of metal, before hissing and dropping the tweezers. He gestured to Heinz, and they both managed to get him bandaged with minimal jostling. 

As Perry stripped his gloves, Heinz noticed that Perry’s face had lost some of its color. He leaned over, shouting for Norm. “Norm!” Get a blood bag!” 

“Right away sir!” 

Perry grimaced, one hand going to his side as he started trembling. Heinz started talking. “I’m a universal donor, so the blood should be fine. You’ve seen all the explosions? Well you should’ve, you cause a lot of them. Anyways, I often don’t budget for hospital visits, I usually use those alimony checks for parts and blueprints, so I keep my own blood around so I don’t have to go.” 

Norm wheeled in then, with tubage and a blood bag. Perry reached out, but Heinz grabbed them first. Perry simply blinked, then lifted up one arm to let the scientist do it. It’s very touching, how much trust the agent put in him. It was also very concerning how Perry didn’t even flinch when the needle entered, or react at all when the bandages went on. 

Heinz got up to clean things up as Perry melted into the couch, finally letting himself relax. He talked, letting his chatter fill the apartment. 

When he was done, he brought the two mugs of Oolong tea, as well as a spare lab coat for Perry. The reformed evil scientist took a good look at his former nemesis. The bags under his eyes were dark, and scars littered his torso and arms. The agent had practically melted into the couch, eyes closed and face lifted towards the ceiling. 

“Here,” Heinz said, passing Perry a mug. He took it gratefully, scooting over to let him sit down. “You’ve gotten blood all over my couch.” The agent had the audacity to look sheepish. 

They sat in silence for a few moments, taking the time to simply enjoy each other’s presence. Heinz kept stealing glances at the other agent, at Perry’s wide array of scars. Eventually Perry seemed to notice, cause he put down his half empty mug. 

_‘You can ask, you know,’_ he signed. 

“Oh, okay,” Heinz put down his mug, unable to hide his surprise. He first pointed to a series of three gashes on his left shoulder. “This one?” 

_‘1998, Tashkent, Uzbekistan.’_

A small scar on his ear, usually covered by the hat. _‘2007, Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia.’_

A burn scar on his right elbow. _‘2012, one of your inventions exploding.’_

A large scar on the back of his left hand. _‘2011, Rome, Italy.’_

A small scar about the size of a nickel on his collarbone. _‘2003, Vijayawada, India.’_

A large scar about his chest. _‘2002, Shanghai, China.’_

A small circular scar near the bottom of his ribs. _‘2004, Athens, Greece. Blame Peter for that one.’_

A series of small injection sites on the inside of his left arm. Perry grimaced, looking away from Heinz before signing, _‘Perth, Australia, 1995.’_

Heinz could see a backstory when it smacks him in the face. He’s had suspicions for a while that Perry has his share of backstories, but the other man was very private, and he respected that. 

“Perry.” The agent looked back at Heinz. “I know, since I’m not evil, you can tell me about your family and your backstories, but I know you're also pretty private. Just, I’ll wait until you're ready, and I’ll listen when you tell me.” 

Perry smiled, tired and grateful, lifting his hands up to sign. _‘Thank you. It’s just that a lot of those backstories… aren’t pleasant.’_

“Of course,” Heinz said, reaching an arm out. Surprisingly, Perry leaned into Heinz’s side, melting into him like he did to the couch. Heinz wrapped his arm around the other’s shoulders. “I forgot how cuddly you were, Perry the Snugglepuss.” 

Perry churred contentedly, then paused. _‘For the record,’_ he signed, _‘I’m more open with you than almost anyone else.’_

The words stole his breath as Perry leaned into him. The trust that he placed in Heinz was worth more than its weight in gold. Heinz eventually leaned back, letting his head rest on Perry’s and lull him to sleep. 

* * *

Perry woke up slowly with the natural light, which was unusual. Usually he’d be up because of a nightmare, or the kids wake him up, or his watch does. It’s nice to get a full six hours of sleep. (Yes, his bar was depressingly low.)

He had been laid down, a lab coat over his shoulders and a blanket draped over him. Pillows supported his back and neck, and the blood bag was gone, the bandages on his arms replaced when he checked. His body ached, a few spots more than usual, and his side throbbed in pain, but he’s felt better than he has in months. 

Perry stood up carefully, buttoning up his lab coat and slowly making his way to the kitchen. Heinz was making eggs and bacon traditionally (thankfully without an inator) and Vanessa was sitting at the counter. 

Perry churred, leaning on the doorframe. Vanessa was clearly surprised, but Heinz reacted first, rushing over to him. “You’re awake?!” Heinz exclaimed, moving over to him and helping him stand up (which he could do on his own but the gesture was sweet). “Are you supposed to be moving? Are you hurt- what am I- I mean do you hurt-?”

He took pity on the scientist, cutting him off once he was seated at the counter. _‘I’m not in pain.’_ He was lying, but he knew that nothing could be done about it.

“I’m making breakfast, it’ll be ready in a few minutes.” Heinz started rambling again. “Oh, Vanessa’s here because Charlene, you know Charlene, she’s taking a business trip to China, so Vanessa’s staying here this week. Sweetheart, how many pieces of bacon do you want?” 

“Two please,” Vanessa responded, looking up from her phone. “Why is Perry here?” 

While Heinz sputtered, Perry chuckled and decided to take pity on him. _‘I needed a place to rest and patch myself up.’_

“Okay, but why didn’t you go to a hospital?” Heinz asked. 

_‘I’m not covered.’_

“OWCA doesn’t cover their agents getting shot?!” 

“You got shot?!” 

Perry shrugged. _‘It wasn’t that bad anyways.’_

“Wasn’t that bad- You bled all over my couch! I had to get a blood bag for you!” 

_‘It didn’t hit anything important.’_

“It didn’t- It hit you! You’re important, you dummkopf!”

Perry was a little sheepish as Heinz stomped over, putting his plate down and pulling him into a hug. Perry patted his back, and when the other man let go, Perry churred apologetically. 

“Just don’t do that again,” Heinz grumbled. “Go to a hospital next time.” 

Perry sighed. _‘I will as soon as get insurance.’_

“You don’t actually have insurance?!” 

“Dad,” Vanessa stepped in (figuratively, she was still sitting at the counter). “Leave him alone for right now.”

Heinz sighed. “You’re right, Vanessa. Sorry honey. Perry, are you in any pain? I could grab you some painkillers while you eat.” 

_‘I’m alright, but thank you.’_

Vanessa, who had looked back at her phone by now, said, “He’s lying.” 

“Perry!” Heinz huffed angrily. “That’s it!” Perry’s eyes widened, and he squeaked as Heinz easily picked him up bridal style (and Perry was totally not into it, shut up Peter). Vanessa was cackling behind them, which did not help the situation nor the flush on his face. 

Heinz dropped Perry off on the toilet. He rifled through his medicine cabinet, pulling out different pill bottles. “Which one do you want?” When Perry shook his head, the look Heinz shot him was priceless. “You’ve got to take one.” 

_‘They don’t work on me.’_

“I’m sorry, they don’t what?” 

_‘Anything that’s supposed to make me tired won’t work on me at all. Anesthesia, painkillers, chloroform, even tea.’_

“That’s gotta suck,” Heinz said, shuffling through the cabinet still. He went through the cabinet, pulling out a pill bottle. “This said it doesn’t have any sleepy side effects, so it should work.” 

_‘Worth a shot.’_ Perry took the pill, then let Heinz pick him up again. This has all been nice, even if very platonic and not at all romantic like Perry (secretly hopes for) absolutely doesn’t want. 

“Alright, now you’ve gotta have breakfast,” Heinz started to ramble as he brought Perry back to the kitchen. “It’s very important, you know. I just gave you three pieces of bacon, I forgot to ask you how many you wanted. It’ll be very filling, even if it’s not healthy. It’s good for you, since you do all that secret agent business, you need a lot of carbs.”

Perry let himself relax, a small smile gracing his face as he leaned on Heinz. He really didn’t know when the Doofenshmirtzes had become part of his family, but he really wasn’t complaining. Home was a small suburban home in Danville, but also a reformed evil scientist’s apartment. 

It was funny how life works sometimes. 


End file.
